Ok, I do not have the real Answer with a big A. But I have an opinion on this topic. My opinion is based on several books I have read (I list them at the bottom of the article), people that I have met and talked with. I do not blame anyone for being unhappy, I just want to help finding happiness !
Happiness, we are all looking for it. What if I tell you, you are already happy. You just do not know it.
In my opinion, there are only 3 reasons that explains unhappiness : sickness, loneliness, violence you receive from anyone around you. Those reasons can be fought, but it is hard and I would understand that these people need help to make it through. And in these cases, what I say below might seem light.
However, most of us, maybe around 80% of us, do not have that big issues. I do not say that your problems are not big enough to be unhappy. I just say that happiness is about perspectives. What if you list all that you have :
- Family is doing well
- A house
- Money to buy you and your family food
- Enough money to go on holidays
- A dog ? A cat ? A gold fish ?
- You have a job (even if it is not the one you wished for)
- Today is sunny
All those small things are the reason why you should be happy. The rest is only a matter of willingness : your jobs is boring ? Your house is too small ? Your town is too grey ? Well, change it ! Do not blame anyone for your problem. Even though they might be an aggravating factor, people are not your problem. You are the only obstacle to your success and happiness.
I know, easy to say. And I will not lie. I also want to give it all up sometimes. But then I list all that I have, breath for a while, eat a pizza and drink a beer and I am back on track again.
Do not wait for anyone to tell you how to be happy or if you should. Decide to be. And, if somedays you feel less happy or even sad. Let it go. Cry a good time, take it easy but never give up on what you want.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
And if you think this way, you will definitely stop being worried or angry or sad. Why ? Because it is losing the chance to spend a good time ! Please people, do not look for happiness, make it happen !
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- The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book), Don Miguel Ruiz
- Siddartha, Hermann Hess